Baldwin and Me

I was just about to take the left turn onto the FDR at Houston St. when a car with Maryland plates completely cut me off with zero regard for the stop sign and the zipper effect. Not in the mood to flick a bird and curse like a sailor (or like Maria!), I just smirked and offered a cranky "thumbs up" as Maryland zoomed past. I then took my turn, entered the torrent of the FDR, and changed the radio channel from 1st Wave to BackSpin when Maryland started to zag, slow, and seemingly stall as I passed, cautiously, on the left. Maryland then aggressively pulled behind me and tailed for a bit before it was able to pull up along side. I rolled down the window and started to scream, “What the fuck?” when I noticed the car was full of teenagers, excluding the driver (who looked about 20-something), and they were all beaming and pointing and waving like Beatles fans. Maryland’s driver, full of joy, happier than happy, screamed out his opened window, “Alec Baldwin!” and then, pause, “Oh, we thought you were Alec Baldwin,” seemingly disappointed. I apologized, offered a winking "thumbs up," and took the Brooklyn Bridge exit. Every now and again these encounters happen… But I was left with a lasting insecurity: I’m 12 years younger than Baldwin is! What the hell?

The Protest of Mere Being

The $54 billion increase in our defense budget and the virtual elimination of support for other countries (especially those in need) IS, believe it or not, the most glaring warning of the impending end of American democracy. Our work moving forward with a ruling administration that no longer acknowledges the brilliance of democracy’s possibilities should also include the absolute reimagining of us, of ALL of us. Sure, there will be more to say and write, more protests to attend, more posts to share, and more chants to scream… but right now, under the weight of these terrible acts and possibilities, making WHAT you are the ART of WHO you are becomes the best protest. If you never realized it before, it is certainly clearer today: Everything we are and everything we do is political. Your mind and body are the resistance.

Trump vs. the Rosenbergs

Our daughter spent part of today (a magnificent vacation day, for crying out loud!) researching and writing about the Jewish-American couple, Julius and Ethel Rosenberg and, subsequently, teaching me all about them. They were charged, tried, convicted, and executed for “conspiracy to commit espionage against the United States." They may very much have been guilty of sharing information with the Soviets regarding the United States' nuclear program; but, after quite a bit of reading, Aleda's conclusion is that "America may have killed two innocent people just because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time."

[Well, you know where this is going:] Trump and his Clan of Cronies have been building ties with Putin's Russia in some of the most insidious, secretive, and sinister ways and they get to rule our country with a backroom coterie of oligarchs and sympathetic media outlets (while banning other news agencies that call their connections and policies into question). When Trump and his Army of Pseudo-Autocrats are revealed for the traitors that they are, I hope, beyond hope, that the might of American Righteousness (normally a foe to many old, nondenominational liberals like myself) does the "right" thing. If the Rosenberg's supposedly got what they "deserved," what will this president and his administration deserve? My imagination is on overload.

Still, has more character than its clone...

Just found this old, shriveled, hard clementine at the bottom of the fruit bowl. It's in the compost now where it belongs.

Bronzer-in-Chief

You'd figure that if anyone could understand the importance of identity, of one's perception of oneself, it would be our owl-eyed Bronzer-in-Chief who tragically abuses tanning spray and dons a snake wig to look like the leather-skinned Gorgon that he feels like on the inside... and that's perfectly fine.

An Act of Jealousy

The Mildewed Orange just "rescinded federal rules that allowed transgender students to use the bathrooms corresponding with their gender identity" (NY Times). This salvo is an act of a diminished male, both in size and manner, who must lash out at that which proclaims a strong sense of self and purpose. Cocknose Clementine is just jealous; and when he's overthrown, the people will return to love and understanding. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud" (1 Corinthians 13:4). This is temporary.

No Sweet Potato Casserole, Ever

It's gotten to the point where I push the carrots to the side of the salad plate, decline the free orange juice with my breakfast special, and pick out the cantaloupe in the fruit cup.

Resist to Persist to Exist

Like most of you, I spend my mornings combing through the "real" news looking for a story, a tidbit even, that sheds some light. Not easy. The Pacific Standard magazine, however, offered something that reminded me to straighten my spine, to buck up: Thanks to the legalization of same-sex marriages, teen suicide rates are down... significantly.

The initial statistics are startling: A 2015 survey (in JAMA Pediatrics) discovered that 29% of LGBT students tried to end their lives (compared to 6% of hetero students) "within the past 12 months." Thanks to the 2015 Supreme Court decision (a decision that is now in grave jeopardy), that rate fell by 14%. Overall, 134,000 teen lives may have been saved because 134,000 adolescents didn't attempt suicide. The link between the destigmatization of one's sexuality through legal marriage for all and saving lives is so obvious, so sweeping, so necessary, that the threats of changing policies and revoking human rights are proving, daily, to be not just a matter of life and death, but a matter of MANY lives and MANY deaths.

This is another example of why we must resist to persist.

Orange Warning System

To help my family get through these days, I’ve instituted an OWS, or Orange Warning System. For example, wake up, read the news, daughter comes into the kitchen and asks, “Dad, what kind of day is it going to be?”

“Sweet potato, sweetie. Sweet potato,” and she’ll know exactly what that means and how to prepare for the day.

Walls, Malls, and Brawls

I've been patient with those who have been expressing their disappointment by saying, "America deserves this!"; but on the eve of Orange Julius Jr's budget and the gutting of just about everything I hold dear in favor of walls, malls, and brawls, I would like to scream, "Shut the hell up!" 74% of eligible voters didn't vote for the Orange Outhouse, over 3 million more voted for his democratic rival -- a net difference of -2.1% which is the third worst victory margin in U.S. history (only followed by Hayes at -3.0% and Adams at 10.4%) -- and over 7 million people voted for third party candidates. AND, as of this morning, President Marmalade's approval rating is at 41% -- among the absolute lowest ratings in history. America DOESN'T deserve this impending doom and those who express resignation will regret their shoulder-shrugging when we try to climb out of the cultural ruins of his Orangemageddon.

Lies from the Great Orange Charla-dictarian's Mouth

Since Trump referenced him today in his rally in Florida, I would like to correct his fallacious use of Thomas Jefferson’s views on the media: Thomas Jefferson was often "called out" and even slandered by the news sources of his time; yet, almost above all, he believed in the fundamental purpose of a truthful free press. At his 2nd Inaugural Address (1805), President Jefferson said: "Since truth and reason have maintained their ground against false opinions in league with false facts, the press confined to truth needs no other legal restraint." An attempt to silence objection and criticism by slandering reliable news sources as "fake" is an attempt to subjugate the rabble "we," an attempt to weaken that which is best in and of us. The press is "the best instrument for enlightening the mind of man and improving him as a rational, moral, and social being" (Thomas Jefferson to A. Coray, 1823). If we start to believe that our sound, broad-based, and researched sources of information are "fake" and the only "true" source of information is from the mouth of the Great Orange Charla-dictarian [sic], then we might as well accept tyranny and embrace our dehumanization.

A Bowl of Baby Blue Bananas

As a pagan, there's no chance in hell I'm going to sell my Twinkie adorned wedding cakes and blue dyed carnation bouquets to Christian fundamentalists who hide behind the Constitution because they rely on blatantly false interpretations of Christ's supposed words. And my new series of pastel painted plastic fruit? I'll be giving customers a religion test; and if they fail, they'll be turned away. No bowl of baby blue bananas for them kind of people. [This is how absurd these bigoted assholes are.]

The Seamy Side of STEM

I’m in the midst of preparing to film the next scene for “Noether’s Women” (very tangentially based on the brilliantly brilliant Emmy Noether and her influence on math and physics in the 20th and 21st centuries) and, just this morning, re-discovered Maryam Mirzakhani, an Iranian mathematician who, just a few years ago, became the first women to ever win the Fields Medal – the "Nobel Prize" in mathematics. The first! A total of 54 men and only one women in over 80 years of the award!
Perusing Mother Jones, I came across this headline: “64 Percent of Women Scientists Say They've Been Sexually Harassed Doing Fieldwork.” [This was supported by valid sources across the board.] This "news" has been circulating over the past year or so with reports from across ALL the STEM fields; but, as unconscious as I can sometimes be, I never expected scientists, in such great numbers, to be such complete, festering scumbags. Turns out, STEM fields are among the most hostile to women… almost next to the level of sexual harassment women experience in the restaurant industry (up to 90%). So, while considering the role education plays in building more humanistic behaviors, I discovered that the so called “educated” are as poorly behaved as the grossly ill-informed.
To compare, 33% of women between the ages of 18 and 34 have been sexually harassed at work (all jobs and fields); but in public, more than 65% of women have experienced street harassment. In other words, it’s as unsafe for a woman to walk to the subway as it is for a woman to do "field research."
Where will these numbers be when my daughter, a strong STEM candidate, enters the workforce? For Chrissake, she was being harassed while walking to and from school when she was only 12!
The rabbit hole of percentages is staggering,... but, alas, not surprising. From mother, to spouse, to daughter -- their stories are 100% proof that it's an ugly scene out there (and on here).
Dinner conversation tonight.

Last Call!

I only have 30 bottles left of my homegrown, homemade, organic, zetta-natural hot sauces that I'm willing to share. I'm in the midst of planning this summer's rooftop crop and will be growing 24 varieties of the mega-hots (among other varieties). So, this is LAST CALL for the 2016 sauces! These nuclear flasks of hydrogen plasma have aged and are more complex than they were in October. If you live in NYC, this is the week to collect a bottle or two. If it needs to be shipped, I have lead-padded envelopes ready to go. If possible, however, please return empty bottles.

1. White Habanero

2. Bondi Ma Jacque (Mix)

3. Bondi Ma Jacque (Pure)

4. Peach Bhut Jolokia

5. Mix of 1 to 4 and Touch of Ghost

6. Ghost Mix

7. Scorpion and Ghost Mix

8. Scorpion

9. Touch of Reaper and mix of 6 to 8    
                                                                             
10. Pure Reaper

Questions? Write to me.

Epiphany in Trader Joe's

I'm desperately trying to comprehend why it is that I don't understand how this is still happening and I continue to fret about it while standing in line at Trader Joe's with a millennial bumping me from behind with her cart and talking on her cell to what must be a very bored person about her "utterly and completely terrible" Tinder experience last night... Oh, wait, that's how this happened.

A Brief History of Nuclear Devices

I have a prediction for this week; but first, I have to put my vision into perspective. Here's a brief history of nuclear explosions/implosions:

8/6/45 -- "Little Boy" (U.S. atomic bomb dropped on Hiroshima)
8/9/45 -- "Fat Man" (U.S. atomic bomb dropped on Nagasaki)
8/29/49 -- "Joe-1" (U.S.S.R.'s first plutonium detonation)
10/3/52 -- "Blue Danube" (U.K.'s first plutonium detonation)
3/1/54 -- "Castle Bravo" (U.S.'s first deliverable thermonuclear weapon)
2/13/60 -- "Gerboise Bleue" (France's first plutonium implosion)
5/18/74 -- "Smiling Buddha" (India's first plutonium implosion)
5/28/98 -- "Operation Shakti" (Pakistan detonates H.E.U., or highly enriched uranium, fission device)
10/9/06 -- "fizzle" -- (North Korea's first attempt at plutonium implosion)

Prediction:
2/13/17 to 2/17/17 -- "Pumpkin Anus" (U.S.'s first I.A.A., or "impulsive atomic asshole," explosion covers nation in orange slime)

Start taking iodine supplements today!

"Remove the '-et'"

As per NY Times: Under Armour chief exec described Trump as "'a real asset' to the country." Stephen Curry, Under Armour's "highest paid endorser," responded, "I agree with that description, if you remove the 'et.'" With Hightower, Bennett, and McCourty boycotting their championship visit to the White House and LeBron being the beautifully vocal soul that he is, could it be that the era of athletes as heroes has returned? Bring it Schilling, you diarrhea-mouthéd puke-brain!

Asses Will Be Kicked!

Women have to dress like "women" and now they're being publicly silenced!

Yeah, this is going over "real well" in this New York City apartment... as our daughter, slowly getting ready for school, puts on jeans, her "Banned in D.C." Bad Brains t-shirt, and high top basketball sneaks while singing a jukebox mix of Joan Jett, the Pretenders, and Bikini Kill. Oh, and both she and Maria are black belts in karate.

Shit's gonna get real! Not one of these crusty, white male bastards parading their Neanderthal ideals around Washington stands a chance. Asses will be kicked!

A Transcontinental Flight

Confirming DeVos to be Education Secretary is like placing me in the cockpit of a commercial airliner -- I'm ill-equipped; hear voices in my head and respond to them aloud; have a terrible, near debilitating, fear of flying; suffer from crushing claustrophobia; and experience vertigo at heights above six feet.

Would you trust me to fly you safely from JFK to LAX? Duh. Of course not! But if you consider the lack of experience, I'm more qualified to be a pilot than she is to be Education Secretary. I mean, at least I've been a passenger on many commercial flights. DeVos has ZERO experience with public education. ZERO... And she now leads our nation's schools.

Mayday!

Fake Real News Pt. 2

The whole point of this blog is to dump my own ideas into an electronic hamper; but this one, not my own, needs to be read and reread. From my close friend, Robert Schupp:

"Back in the USSR (sorry John and Paul), they used to have two state-run newspapers--one called Pravda (The Truth) and another called Izvestia (The News). An old Soviet saying used to go: 'Pravda ne Izvestia i Izvestia ne Pravda.' 'The Truth is not the news and The News is not the truth.' Remember that next time you hear Trump, Kellyanne or Bannon, all Putin apologists, speak."

Fake Real News

If "real" news is "fake" news and "fake" news is "real" news, then "real" news is "fake" news which makes it "real" news. Believe it!

Jungle Tales

So, I'm re-reading JUNGLE TALES of TARZAN annual # 1, by Roy Thomas (one of my absolute favs) and John Buscema (another of my absolute favs), and I'm delighting in the many panels (some pages have as many as eight!). Then in the page 4 ads I see this: "John Buscema wants new students! New York class in -- Comic Book Art --" and I think I would've pretty much done anything to have had that opportunity. But then I continue on with the comic -- not a legendary issue, but solid through and through -- and I realize, I AM IN THAT CLASS!

Yes! Oh Dear God, Yes!

When we lived in California, we fought against him with everything at our disposal... and lost. But, the answer to the unasked question is, "Yes!" Yes, faster that 186,000 miles per second, I would switch Donald J. Trump for a President Arnold Alois Schwarzenegger and spend the next 1370 days posting pics of my family, projects, dog, and adventures. I'll be attending a prayer service at the National Cathedral next week and now you all know what I'll be praying for.

Post Louder

Listen, I know you've had enough of the many, many political declarations, diatribes, and rants (certainly mine included) on Facebook, Twitter, Whatever; and I read your "I need a break" posts. I share your exasperations, tensions, and head scratching dandruff... I mean, head scratching attempts to understand; but this is the mode of our discourse, these electronic networks, and maybe, just maybe, a truth will penetrate, any truth, and you'll be inclined to write, call, scream, protest, and strike even more than you have. Maybe, just maybe, we share these electronic thoughts because they matter; and maybe, just maybe, you'll respond. That goes for me too because my many Facebook friends, on all sides, have challenged, provoked, and, yes, enlightened... So, I beg you to not stop. If anything, post louder! LOUDER!

Letter to Senator Dean Heller

Dear Senator Dean Heller:

I just this moment received news that two of your Republican colleagues, Senators Susan Collins and Lisa Murkowski, confirmed that they would not vote for Betsy DeVos for Education Secretary.

You’ve got to be wondering why I, a liberal from New York City, am writing to you, a Republican from Nevada. Well, the reason is quite simple: You are, at this point, the only remaining politician who can stop the absolute insanity of a DeVos confirmation.

I’m a public educator and you, Senator, are a graduate of a public high school… And look at you! A senator! I’ve researched your Senate voting history and it is, indeed, quite conservative, in definition, but certainly not baseless. I ask you to consider your positions on public education, as opposed as they could possibly be to mine, and consider that your arguments will never sway my beliefs (and experiences); but also consider that should DeVos represent our country in regards to public education, it is she who would be championing baseless ideals without the experience, credibility, and certification of a sound education secretary.

And, in support of your beliefs, it should be noted that school vouchers aren’t necessarily a “conservative” approach; rather, they're a costly Band-Aid for a few. School vouchers more often than not use public funds at a cost that is footed by taxpayers. I won’t even go into the great social and legal cases against vouchers – time is of the essence; but shouldn’t you, in the very least, consider the cost?

Senator Heller, you are one of the few remaining Republicans to not state her/his position on DeVos's nomination; and I urge you, for the sake of public schools across the country, to take a stand against ignorance and to continue to find solutions to our many concerns. You are almost always willing to work with your colleagues across the aisle. Let this be one of those moments.

Please, find a different route and a different driver to meet this issue. Do not let Betsy DeVos steer this great school bus of ours.

Sincerely,

Brian Philip Katz

https://www.heller.senate.gov/public/index.cfm/contact-form