Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Letter to Senator Ted Cruz to Commemorate his Birthday Today, 12/22/15

Dear Senator Ted Cruz,

It’s your birthday today! I hear that you’re spending the evening sucking up all of “Dump Truck” Trump’s exhaust. Well done, Church Lady in drag. (Get it?)

Between your gun bacon, furrowed brow, and violence inspiring rhetoric, you’ve almost reached the Cliffs of Donald – precipices of unhinged thoughts that become words, malignant idiocy, malicious leanings, and self-service whoring.

I thought I would briefly tackle your positions – positions rooted in your conservatism – by addressing your Christianity. Clearly, your understanding of Christ and being like Christ is seriously lost in the various translations of Aramaic and Hebrew to Latin to English to Cruzin. (Get this one too? I know, awful.)

You’re anti-abortion, which is understandable considering your party affiliation, but pro death penalty, which is becoming historically confusing (and hypocritical). You abhor same-sex marriage and civil unions and you voted against the Violence Against Women Act.  The depth of your commitment to gun rights only adds to your stroke-inducing windbaggery. You oppose the Affordable Care Act and almost single-handedly shut down the government in 2013 (partly due to your hatred for “Obamacare”) – the result of which would have been devastating to many, many people including millions of Christ’s followers. You oppose immigration reform and on the stump deny amnesty for illegal immigrants who are already here. You reject the idea of climate change and global warming despite the facts (FACTS!) and you voted against the Water Resources Development Act of 2013. Lastly, your foreign policies are positively nuclear and leave me thinking only of the massive burning lake of sulfur from the Book of Revelation – a book that may be warning us of the likes of you.

So, by my account, you’re against woman in almost every conceivable way; hence, you’re against “the mother of God” who is the representative of all mothers if not all women.

You’re for murdering, needlessly and recklessly, (hiding behind asinine claims of “self-defense”) which aligns more with Pontius Pilate than Jesus and his Apostles.

You’re against healing the sick, which, in many ways, was one of Christ’s chief goals when he hit the scene.

You oppose resources for the needy, roofs for the exposed, and work for the willing – the pharaohs of Egypt had more compassion.

And the greatest gift that Jehovah gave to man was the planet itself; and you deny our inherited responsibility to care for it.

I have to ask: What kind of a Christian are you? You share nothing with your Lord and Savior; rather, you look, sound, and act more like the antithetical incarnation of Jesus… the AntiChrist.

At a Christmas gathering just the other night, the host and a guest were complaining about the long, sluggish election season. I would be inclined to agree if our candidates were more responsible and our parties more than two.  My hope is that over the next 322 days (if not much sooner) you will be unmasked for the evil that you represent – the human costume of Damnation, the ruler of the Right Kingdom of Hell… the Christian version of Hell.

Again, happy birthday, Foolish Shepard!

                                                                           Signed,
                                                                           Brian Philip Katz




Note: My original first sentence read, “You barrel of Swamp Thing’s feces and Man-Thing’s urine, it’s you’re birthday today!” Felt a little harsh. Just a little.

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