More Than a Ride

When it comes to the teacup ride, I know my limitations. Last time I was on one, which was the last time I will ever be on one, I was waving wildly for the carny to let me off after one rotation. It was the greatest amusement park experience of our then eight-year-old's life. For aging me, round and round is so much worse than up and down.

A Flight of Fancy, of Sorts

No need to tell me how ridiculous I am. My family and I are well aware of my issues and obsessions -- comic books, especially from the 70s; action figures from my youth; magazine and newspaper cartoon gag art. But here’s another of my loves: simple, actual balsa wood model planes. Over the past 15 to 20 years, whenever shopping in a country store or town supermarket, I always look for these flimsy, "Made in U.S.A." throwbacks to my youth; and when I find ‘em, I buy ‘em out of the worry that there will be a time when they are no longer available. Here’s the display box that contains my collection. It doesn’t occupy a lot of space, but it brings me joy on a spring day like today when the idea of opening one up, putting it together, launching it in the park, and losing it in a tree is exactly what I should be doing instead of grading papers (and writing this post).

Lessons I Learned This Week

Two lessons I learned this week thanks to a couple of good friends: 

1. No matter how liberal my ideals, no matter the strength of my pluralistic convictions, there is a very dogmatic collective on the far, far left that will never accept me and my beliefs because I too am reduced to my appearance. To them, I might as well be a Trump supporter. Sad.

2. When you go so far left and fervently embrace the madness of limited, controlled (and controlling) rhetoric and politically correct positions, you are no longer liberal. No, you are conservative! Very, very conservative!

Prediction for This Week:

Mark my words: We're going to wake up one morning this week to another series of batshit crazy Trump tweets to be followed by an afternoon White House statement that his Twitter account was hacked. The morning after, a new series of Trump tweets will be accusing Obama of hacking his Android phone. 

Path to Enlightenment

Let the toxic blowholes speak! I’ve endured some of the stupidest lectures and they ALL helped to shape my ideology, my opinions. I now see how my daughter processes the idiots, bigots, and narrow-minded twits (men, mostly!); and as she processes, her eyes penetrate and her words level the clowns with verities. Listen. Twist. Turn. Grumble. Learn. Respond. Substantiate. Flatten. Let this be the path to clarity; but first, let the assholes speak.

When Zack de la Rocha Is the Oldest Person in the Room

Last night at the Run the Jewels show with a couple of good friends, I was in conflict of age. We were the oldest dudes in Terminal 5, standing at our balcony perch, and digging everything that was taking place on stage. But the good vibes took hold and I wanted so badly to be in the throng of bouncing kids on the dance floor below. Bob, always game, and I made our way through the crowd and immediately lost each other. I skirted to the side of the stage and joined an army of kids losing their minds (like I once lost mine). And there I was, middle-aged-man-groovin'. As it started to get thicker with pressed bodies, a security guy, right by the stage entrance, cleared space for me in front of him. We fist bumped. There I was, in a safe place, dancin' like a dork, and the oldest guy around... until Zack de la Rocha took the stage. And then I wasn't the oldest guy around (even though I looked and felt like it).

Note the Fucking Differences!

As the suited assholes lined up to touch Trump on his way out the chamber door, many Republican men praised his speech as “Reaganesque” and the “best speech in 30 years.” To put their zero-term memories into nth perspective, I watched Dutch’s first Joint Sessions speech to Congress on February 18, 1981 before I went to bed. He was very specific: “I am proposing a comprehensive four-point program. Now, let me outline in detail some of the principal parts of this program. You'll each be provided with a completely detailed copy of the entire program.” He even endeavored to fix what he saw as broken with actual plans: “And I'm asking that you join me in reducing direct Federal spending by $41.4 billion in fiscal year 1982, and this goes along with another $7.7 billion in user fees and off-budget savings for a total of $49.1 billion. And this will still allow an increase of $40.8 billion over 1981 spending.” His entire speech is riddled with statistics, ideas, strategies, figures, and approaches. He conveyed the “frustrations” of many Americans, sought to ease them, and offered actual, concrete ways to solve the issues (as he saw them). Sure, the outcome of this speech coincided with Reagan's social agenda (which was a disaster on almost every level…), but he had propositions -- whether they were actually effective or, unfortunately, destructive -- and detailed implementations. From his discussion on the Trade Adjustment Assistance program to his very conservative commentary on the Department of Energy, cuts, cuts, decreased taxes, economic recovery plans, cuts, and more cuts were his means to resolutions and solutions. [Shudder.] Again and again, he offered ways to tackle everything he proposed. In fact, his speech is staggeringly adept (considering his political bent), noble, earnest, and maybe even honest. Maybe actually, really honest, in comparison! Trump is no Reagan. His was not a “Reaganesque” address. Populist ideas rained on the Joint Session last night, but nary a way to implement any of them. Stop comparing Trump to Reagan! The Gipper was, at times, terribly flawed, but [and I really, truly believe what I’m about to write] he was a legit leader, knowledgeable (at least, at first), serious (with a stand up's repertoire of one-liners), charismatically hypnotic (how did I not get swayed?), and the “Real Deal" (whether you liked him or not). Note the fucking differences!